Feelings

SO, In my last blog, I ended up by saying that I will tell you - How I was feeling leaving everything behind and finally moving towards a life I always used to dream?

Whoa!!, the first time in my entire life I was entirely filled with my complete emotions. I was feeling heavy down in my heart, wanted to cry but can't show tears, very fascinated...and whatnot. I was absorbing all of my emotions (which I had never done in my life). Unlike others, I was not able to control my emotions at all, until the time came where my parents dropped me at my company's accommodation. I can never forget the date I started my career i.e. the new year of 2k18. We left our place very early in the morning with a car full of my stuff, younger sibling, and Of 'course my parents. My family was visiting my workplace for the first time, though I came for the interview before with one of my friend (Jhilmil). She also got selected there, at that time she is the only person to me with whom I would be comfortable sharing my new life. 

We reached on time as we were told to reach by 08 in the morning. We met with all the management then we had our breakfast. Meanwhile, when we both were finishing our documentation my family roaming around nearby places just to check the place is safe for us. 

By early evening we all headed towards our accommodation which was nearly about 1 hour away. I was thinking the whole way that how would be the accommodation, society, people...etc. But yes one thing I was noticing that all I was trying to do is distracting myself from the fact that now I have to live alone(independently) then why I am so worried about, this is what I ever wanted for me. I got the answer to this weird question when we arrived at accommodation and the time had come when everyone had to leave me and return home. 

My heart was filled inside with so many emotions like I was crying inside out loudly, just to handle myself I kept myself busy with all my belongings which I need to unpack and suddenly I heard papa said now we should go...That one sentence from him brought me to tears I was trying my best to hide everything on my face which is coming out from my inside.

My ever wanted life was standing right in front of me and I was trying to take my step back. Suddenly all the decisions in my life were in my hands. But I was not prepared to welcome myself in my own new life. But day by day I started handling everything, to become more responsible. Learning at my new workplace, got new friends, parties, night out, or whatnot. But I never hide anything from my mom since then. 

A month crossed.....

As usual lot of controversies were roaming around on everyone's tongue. That was the first real-life exposure for me, which was also necessary somewhere to learn real-life lessons. Here, is a permanent fun fact of my life that "What is going on in my life, people know more than me"😂😆. 

I heard it somewhere ...

Dost aise banao jo tumhe apna maan sake 

Dil me hue dard ko pal me jaan sake

Chal rahe ho tez barish me jab hum 

Toh chehre ki boond me aansu ko pehchaan sake..

And they proved it the exact opposite😅😅. Anyways better leave it, that time I thought I never made friends. They were just some living tableaux with whom you were spending your life, they do not have any real world transactions 😆😜. Well, one should always be honest with this context when its the matter of support and understanding of their loved ones. 

Kind of Sentimental Thoughts

To know Who were those people? Why I said them living tableaux?

Keep reading my next blog

And to know where it all started read my previous blog